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Saturday, March 29, 2008

The joys of pregancy

First off that is the biggest pile of bull I have ever titled. This is my third and there are no joys. Stretch marks, swelling feet, a little body pushing all over inside of you, and of course than there is the awful fun time of having it. Yeah joy my ass.

See just another thing not so freaking joyus to, how big your small ass gets. I used to be a hot number but kids killed that one. I dont want to hear it from you skinny bitches either how all you have to do is excerise. Some of us are not built to look like you havent had a kid at all after a month. Some of us are built with big hips that are just waiting to come out.

I look at pics of me back in the day when I first met my hubbie. Damn I was fine!!!! Not skinny but built. I had big boobs than to so getting free drinks was easy as hell. Now I get pity looks when I am with my kids and get free extra fries. I am so not turning them away so back off.

I think about how I am so close to the end. How I will go from feeling like a alien is about to pop out of my stomach to wishing I could just sleep all night long. Than it is off to potty training and making sure they know there is no monster under the bed. After that it seems they just shoot up and out. Boyfriends and girlfriends, acting a lot older than they are, arguing cause i am destroying their life, wanting a cell phone and being a total drama queen.

I know it will only get worse with age but sometimes I wonder if this isnt like the ulimate test. Like us suriving having kids and going through everything isnt God's little way of making sure we are right. I know I better have soem extra credit already going. My 2 are going to kill me at a early age so I need all the credit I can get.

I guess I am just in that stage where I am not only nesting but also thinking well what if this happens. I know I shouldnt be thinking like that but I cant help it. It is a little fear that is just right there waiting for you to look at it. I figure if I dont address it than it will just sit there and eat away at me. Better to face the fear than to just act like it doesnt exist.

I know I will write a letter to Derek out and put it away and hope he doesnt have to read it. I have done it with all my kids. As soon as I get home I destroy it but it just makes me feel better to have them. I think it is the only thing I have neer actually told Derek about. I know I wont to. There are some things he shoudnt know.

Well now that I have bitched about the joys of pregancy, I need to make sure i write down the rules when Mary is in labor. Derek knows them but the nurses, my sister and mom dont. They are more like guidelines so I know that what ever I may do when in labor the people around me had fair warning. It will not be my fault if I deck someone else rather than Derek. I have been known to do it so this is will be a way to keep everyone safe.

1 comments:

Winter said...

I remember feeling such relief when the PITA popped out. I thought OMG, I don't care if it hurt, I feel better now! Soon, Mary. Only a few weeks left and you shall feel that relief! Hang in there!