Macrus Award Slut

Macrus Award Slut

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The joys of pregancy

First off that is the biggest pile of bull I have ever titled. This is my third and there are no joys. Stretch marks, swelling feet, a little body pushing all over inside of you, and of course than there is the awful fun time of having it. Yeah joy my ass.

See just another thing not so freaking joyus to, how big your small ass gets. I used to be a hot number but kids killed that one. I dont want to hear it from you skinny bitches either how all you have to do is excerise. Some of us are not built to look like you havent had a kid at all after a month. Some of us are built with big hips that are just waiting to come out.

I look at pics of me back in the day when I first met my hubbie. Damn I was fine!!!! Not skinny but built. I had big boobs than to so getting free drinks was easy as hell. Now I get pity looks when I am with my kids and get free extra fries. I am so not turning them away so back off.

I think about how I am so close to the end. How I will go from feeling like a alien is about to pop out of my stomach to wishing I could just sleep all night long. Than it is off to potty training and making sure they know there is no monster under the bed. After that it seems they just shoot up and out. Boyfriends and girlfriends, acting a lot older than they are, arguing cause i am destroying their life, wanting a cell phone and being a total drama queen.

I know it will only get worse with age but sometimes I wonder if this isnt like the ulimate test. Like us suriving having kids and going through everything isnt God's little way of making sure we are right. I know I better have soem extra credit already going. My 2 are going to kill me at a early age so I need all the credit I can get.

I guess I am just in that stage where I am not only nesting but also thinking well what if this happens. I know I shouldnt be thinking like that but I cant help it. It is a little fear that is just right there waiting for you to look at it. I figure if I dont address it than it will just sit there and eat away at me. Better to face the fear than to just act like it doesnt exist.

I know I will write a letter to Derek out and put it away and hope he doesnt have to read it. I have done it with all my kids. As soon as I get home I destroy it but it just makes me feel better to have them. I think it is the only thing I have neer actually told Derek about. I know I wont to. There are some things he shoudnt know.

Well now that I have bitched about the joys of pregancy, I need to make sure i write down the rules when Mary is in labor. Derek knows them but the nurses, my sister and mom dont. They are more like guidelines so I know that what ever I may do when in labor the people around me had fair warning. It will not be my fault if I deck someone else rather than Derek. I have been known to do it so this is will be a way to keep everyone safe.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

For the ladies

Shiny had asked me to send her a link to where I am going to have the baby. I keep forgetting to do it but for some reason I remebered today. SO I decided rather than just send it to one friend I woudl just put it on here and let everyone have it. That way I dont have to send out more than one e-mail cause i ma a lazy bitch.

Here is the link for Baxter Regional where I will have my last bundle of bills..... I meant joy.
Proably wont be up right away but I will do my best to push them along. Due date is April 24th so be looking for it a few days after. Most of you know I will send you a text when I actually have the little one.

Proably wont be little though. Why do kids in my family run up the weight scale. Little dude was 9 lbs 8 ozs. Liz was 8 lbs 6 ozs. I am rolling for a 10 pounder here and that just aint right. I mena the drugs they give you during birth are great but will htey really help me to not feel that much coming out? I truly do pray that they do.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Blah Tuesday

I am so not feeling well. I have a small fever and cannot actually stay asleep all night long. On top of the baby kicking the crap out of me cause he has no room this day sucks.

I have a doctor's apptionment this afternoon and am hoping for the energy to go. Right now it is just not there. The hubbie let me sleep in till 10 but I was awake at 8 just laying there. The cat came in and meowed at me 5 minutes later so that killed me trying to go back to sleep. Damn furball, thinks I should do everything for him including wipe his ass. If he wasnt so cute I would just thump him.

Hubbie came up and gave me the some of the cinnamon rolls he had made for breakfast. To bad the oven is starting to screw up and burn the bottom of everything we put in there. The top of them were just right. Only had them in for 5 minutes. Just another crappy thing to worry about.

Kids are on spring break so I get to hear their wonderful screeching start at 8 and end by 10 pm. Right now they are quiet because daddy told them if they werent the rest of the day we would throw them outside and make them sleep with the snakes. I know, that was not a great thing to say to our kids but trust me, they are used to empty threats like that. I think I am doing a fine job of screwing my kids up.

Ok now that I have whined about how crappy i feel and how I am screwing up my kids I am going to go lay down. I dont even have the energy to go look up a cutie to post. I have to be sick.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Feel something right

While the title may sound like I am about to write about something sexy trust me I ma not. Even though after reading my girl's Winter guest blog that is on my mind, I ma going to write about what truly touches my heart. Get your mind out of the gutter butt girl.

Have you ever been a the point in your life where you look back and go what in the hell have I done with the time? I hit 30 and those thoughts started creeping in. Plus I had a big falling out with some ladies that I truly thought was good friends with. Not the first time I have been wrong.

I stopped and just thought about what exactly I was doing. Ok, I have to truthful, I didnt stop I jumped on my motorcylce and rode. Amazing how things become much clearer when you have the wind blowing thourgh your hair at 60. The things that came to mind had been there just waiting.

First thing is I was partying way to much. I am not 21 anymore. Plus the body could not handle going out and having way to good of a time and than waking up and just functioning period the next day. Another thing, it was taking way to much money to get me drunk to. When you have to spend almost a 100 a night on just yourself something is wrong. Dasmn irish/scottish blood.

Second, I had more fun just hanging out in someones backyard or by the lake with the whole family. My kids hated me going out even though they never said anything. We always came away from a day with everyone stronger. My kids know I love them more than life itself but sometimes you forget. You get so caught up in everything else that you just blank on the things that are important.

Third, I want to be more than just good time Mary. I want to be thought of as someone that helped others. I want to leave behind all the good things. I want not only my kids to show the world that their parnets raised them right but also the people I helped to show that. Now what exactly do I devot myself to that can help with that? Ahh yes, the one thing that has always been there for me no matter where I was, softball.

I have been playing this sport since I was 10. Almost 20 years of playing with different people in different places. I have played every position and seen things that have amazed me. I have even done things that amazed me. I love every minute of it. The losing, winning and even the pratices in 102 degree heat. I have a very big collection of old shirts from my old teams. They bring me memories and are great for yard work.

I am now starting to get into the coaching side. Not exactly what I imagned it would be but I do enjoy it. The girls for some reason even like me. It feels good to just see them playing together and winning. Even when we lose they know that we can do better and we will help them get there. It is a lot more rewarding than I thought it would be.

I guess what I am really trying to say here in my round about way is to remember what exactly you want to do with your life. You should remember that not only will it make it you happy but those around you could learn from it. Leave behind a good part of yourself.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Rain Rain go away, bring on hotties anyday

It has steadly been raining here since Monday night. Yesterday was the heavy stuff. I had to go out in it and was soaked to the bone within 10 minutes. I swear I had wet weather stuff on but it just didnt help. Wet underwear is not cool!!

I told Winter I would post some hotties on here and I am a woman of my word. Sorry I couldnt do this yesterday but I was just to busy. Plus the littel one in the belly was being a super butthead yesterday.
First just for you Winter. Another pic of your man you proably already have but you will still drool over.

I sort of like the naked one but am also in my horny time of the month. Any hottie right now will put me over the top. Now for the rest of us I will just put out a collection of random hotties.

I love this picture of Ryan Reynolds in Blade. I mean come on he is freaking hot here. I am not into bondage that much but right there I would be just fine. He even has that cut there by his hips that makes you want to just trace it with your tonuge. Plus he is funny as hell. What more do you want in a man?

This guy is one that I just like to look at. Scott Macgergor is a good Scottish name and he make me think of what exactly might be under his kilt.
Finally nothing like a line of Hotties to finish ths blog. Take a moment and just imagine seeing this coming at you.

Monday, March 17, 2008

My weekend of shopping

With me getting closer to my due date my sister decided we needed to go shopping for baby. I looked at her and decided if it made her happy than so be it. Plus i seriously needed a day away from my guys. My and Liz are about to be totally outnumbered in the house. Another penis equals more boys than girls.

Anyway, if you have ever vistied this area you will know the only true shopping is really Wal-Mart. Yes I am a religous type towards the company but every now and than you have to go somewhere else. Considering the only other place that is even close to being ok for shopping here is basically second hand stores off to Branson we go!!

Yes I am talking about Branson, Missouri. Most people think of the place as a senior citzen's heaven. There are alot of shows there that mainly have 40's and 50's music groups. If not them than it is country. They also have places that get some of the big names, mainly country, to do concerts there.

On top of the music is shopping. 3 outlet malls, Branson Landing, and little specialty shops. If you can not find what you are looking for there than Springfield is only 30 more minutes north of there. It is a breath of fresh air for us little ole country folks.

Come Saturday morning my sister comes through and picks up myself, my mom and Liz. A girls day of shopping and eating food we like. I was happy that we used her truck. There is plenty of room in her back seat for me to turn and be comfortable. Little Mac is not so little in my tummy.

I wont bore you with all the shopping details. Trust me if there was a sale there we hit it. By the end of the day everyone was tired and Mary was hurting. Pregant women should not walk as much as I did that day. I swear I walked 6 miles. Liz was even ready to shop shopping and we didnt even hit the outlet malls.

My sister though was still ready to keep going. I looked at her like she had grown a 3rd head. We are totally different. I would rather sit back and watch sports on TV. She would rather watch soap operas or *gulp* Oprah. Considering it was her truck and she was driving we had to listen to Oprah and friends on her XM radio.

I am not a Oprah lover. Hell I had problems spelling her name properly. I had to think of her production company to spell it right. Now I love my sister but honestly where in the hell did she come from? Me and my brother are very similar. He knows he doesnt have to explain things to me, I understand. My sister has to talk to him even more to get it.

Could my mom have messed around with the mailman? I dont think so but it is a good question to think about. I do love her and we have gotten better communication going in our relationship. I mean we actually talk more than once a week. That is a big step for us.

Now we are going to have to get past this little thing where she wants my daughter to be all perfect and crap. She is a kid, I let her get dirty but also make sure she knows that she needs to clean up to. My sister wants her to be mega prissy but I would like to see her be able to be able to adapt to the situation. I think it is a good skill to have.

OK I feel like I have just rattled on and on. I am off to act like I am working. Hope ya'll have a good day!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Little Bitty influence

I was talking to Shiny and was laughing at her reply to my hooker comment I had posted in Winter's blog. Hooker with a heart of gold is what I really called her. She had no idea where I had gotten that.

Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is one movie that i will always remember. It was my first true musical. Only a true southern lady would be able to sing along to "Little Bitty Pissant Country Place."

Dolly Parton is a icon to us southern folks. Who else but a southern woman would say it costs alot to look this trashy. I love listening to her talk. She just cracks me up with how she says stuff. Reminds me of alot of folks around here. Some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths makes you think for a minute.

It really makes me think about how many people in the south honestly have left a mark on society. Dolly is just one of many that have left a mark on things that are said or done in everyday life. If not her than Loretta Lynn has.

Why I keep thinking of only ladies is also something that makes me really think back. Jeff Foxworthy is another southern person that has made a mark. OF course Larry the cable guy. Cant go many places without someone knowing his trademark verse.

There are more that have said something that has stuck with the public everywhere. I truly do believe that everyone can have a impact on the society around you. With the days of the internet upon us how can you not. So watch what you say, you never know you may just start something.

Do you hear what I hear?

Do you hear that? That really loud banging sound? That is me banging my head against the wall. I have a designated spot that I use. No beams behind it just a hollow space.

Our first softball game yesterday was cancelled. Like it is our fault the coach's wife is in the hospital. Ok I feel somewhat wrong for that remark. I do truly hope that whatever is wrong gets better. But come on, it was like 65 here and sunny. We do not get that many days in spring like that.

So our 5th game that we were actually going to play was cancelled. We dont play on Wednesday cause of church. Even though God has given us another great day. The next question is are we actually going to play tomorrow? Supposed to rain so yeah, there goes that banging again.

One a different subject the hubbie's b-day is coming up next week. It amazes me how he is like whatever I am getting older. Doesnt mind losing his hair and it coming back in force on his shoulders and back, gag. Is fine with the little lovehandles on the sides. Those are sort of cool for me though. Good hanging on spots now. Is just fine that he is getting closer to 40. I hate men.

Where in the world do they come up with this attitude? I am happy being 30 and not moving. I know, I know, I can already hear Winter saying "Shut up you young bitch." I just wonder why it is that most men I know are just fine with getting the gray hair, hair in the wrong spots, extra handles on the body and all the rest of the crappy stuff that comes with age.

I guess that is another thing to bang my head on the wall too. Wow I really should get a helmet or something. At least I know I can patch up the hole if it comes to that.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Ahh Tuesday

Another day, another post. It is tuesday and I am feeling frisky. We are going to have 2 days in a row of nice weather. 2 days!! That actually means we can play a game today.

Finally after waiting and waiting for nice weather we have it. We play a team that plain and simple hates us. I cant blame them for that at all either. Our pitcher from last year actually hit everyone on the team. One poor girl got hit 6 times! Nope cant say I blame them at all.

Our girls are as ready as we can make them but there is more work to do. We have a few that are in new spots that well I am worried about. They are going to do the best they can but I am worried. Think I better stop and get a big bag of sunflower seeds. I am going to need something to eat on when I am worried.

Anyway, since my girl Winter is always nice enough to give me a hardbody on this day I will do the same for you. You know my view on this guy but he is yours so here ya go. A picture you proably already have but does that honestly bother you a bit?

AHHHHHH, he even has a rose for you. Just thought I throw some ho love your way. Now go and sin some some more you delightful ho you.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Baby Doc

As you know I am pregant and hating it. 33 weeks along and ready to get it over with. Especially after last night. Had a super bad night with little sleep.

Little guy is getting into position for him to come out. If not than he really likes to move around alot. Loves using his shoulder to do it to. Now his little butt is right below my stomach. Needless to say that means he is pushing it into my stomach. I had so much heartburn and the feeling that I was going to barf all night it was horrible.

Plus I am already going into super mom mode. Like I can hear anything and it wakes me up. I had started to get over that because my kids were getting old enough I didnt have to worry about every little hiccup. Now I am back to that. Hell I even wake up when the freaking cat stretches. How messed up is that.

Meet with my backup doc this morning. He seems to be a good guy and not cute. I just cant go to a doc that is cute. Especially if they are going to be looking at my special tingly spot. No way do I need to look down there and see someone cute.

Anyway back to the baby doc. He is a nice guy that has 3 kids of his own. I figure that means he knows when to move quickly and not to take what I say about all men's other region to heart. All woman know we cuss at that part no matter how much we enjoyed it before or even after. My usual doc is the same way so I feel ready to have this kid.

Funny part is I really do actually want to have it on April 1st. I know that sounds stupid but for those that know me it fits so perfectly. I like to have fun and if this isnt the prime example of having too much fun I dont know what is. We'll just have to see if god lets me have my way with this one.

Thursday, March 6, 2008


It is thursday and I am not enjoying this week. It looks like we are going to get more snow, again. I swear mother nature is laughing.

With more snow on the way our first week of softball season is shot. That is 3 games we are not going to get back. Not cool! Our team is young and we need to play not sit on our asses. Plus that means we dont have those 3 games on our record. Not going to help us come the end of the season.Instead of me bitching about the weather, I have decided to find some nice pics to put up here. SO first one is, hell I cant remember the name. Lets just be shallow and drool over the prime example of male.

There two different guys. Both wanting to invite you into bed and eat some grapes, crackers or whatever is your pleasure. Even though if I was in bed with them than I wouldnt be thinking about eating. Maybe drinking so you could get them all nice and loose. Than have my way with them. Ok that is just my little fanasty.
What I do remember about these guys were the fact they are actors. I dont remember seeing their shows but if I did I might remember. Even though I think most of them were foriegn stuff. Like I would care what was being said if they were wearing this while acting.
Hopefully these nice little pics of half naked men can help all that might be pissing you off. Just do what I do when I am in a situation that I really dont want to think about. Imagine these men coming at you on a nice sunny beach with a cold drink in their hands. Ready and willing to please you however you want. Winter they are ready to give you a major pedicure.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Stupid snow day

Yes, yet again we have another damn snow day. I am sick of the snow and ice. I am sick of the cold. I am sick of mother nature teasing me. What a bitch!! Give's me a 72 degree day and than this 2 days later. UGH UGH UGH!!!!!!!!

Well because of the snow and crap today we also dont get to start the softball season. I am bummed but also think hey if we could actually pratice than this would be great. The girls are all great ladies that have alot of charter. That is my nice way to say those girls are freaking nuts.

They have great attitudes toward the game and play together as a team. Compared to last years team this is a godsend. Tension was a team player on the team last year. You could always feel it just behind you. This year the girls all talk to one another. Talk not fight. If you can get teenage girls to talk instead of fighting than that is a huge thing.

Here is a perfect example of what I am talking about. One of the girls got in a fight at school last week. While I dont approve of them fighting I can understand why this time. 2 girls were talking major trash for quite awhile about her. She finally had enough and beat the crap out of both of them. Yes, she beat both of them.

Everyone on the team supports her. Everyone. Now you tell me how many teenage girls that you know that support someone totally? Doesnt usually happen. While I am bummed because she couldnt coem out to pratice, I am encouraged by the whole thing. My starting catcher has some hellious ump. I cant wait until she has to stop someone from stealing a base.

Well it is time for me to go to work and fight with the kids. They want to go out and play in the snow but it is freaking freezing out there. Everyone have a great day and thanks for the yummy bodies Winter.

Saturday, March 1, 2008


Since my bitch WInter tagged my ass I decided to write this now. I would proably put it off and than feel bad sooooo......

1. I am a huge country music fan. I like all other kinds but honestly I would rather listen to country station than any other. It fits well into my life and the way I was raised. My fav artists in this genre are Terri Clark, Gretchen Wilson, Big and Rich, Tim Mcgraw, Hank Jr., Johnny Cash, Miranda Lambert, and of course my hottie Dierks Bentley.

2. Yes I have flashed my boobs at Mardi Gras. You try drinking all day and not showing something for some kick ass beads at 11 at night. Something else I did there, I danced on the bar at Coyete Ugly. Considering how big my ass is that is something to. I do not remember the song but have a picture that will not go on here, of me with my bud light shaking it. Like I said you try not doing something stupid when you are drinking all day. By the way, I am so going back. Get ready Big Easy, these DD's are coming back.

3. I am a history buff. I love WW 2 and everything that happened during it. The Civil War is pretty cool to. I just love knowing about all the battles and what made them happen. I have read books, reports and watched every movie I could about the times. I even watched a movie in sub-titles about a japanese sub crew. Wow, I just relieazed how nerdy that sounded. SHit me and my hubbie do belong together.

4. I was born in South Haven, Michigan. I know, I am a gung-ho southern girl but I am actually a damn Yankee (hangs head in shame). I was the first grandbaby on my dad's side and everyone was still living there. Mom and Dad got together and well along I came. My mom is also Candian.

5. I still have my Class A Commerical Driver License and still consider driving over the road. I mean I am a damn good driver (knock on wood), and would like to make more money for my family. Problem one with this plan, being away from the kids. That would suck. Problem 2, having to put up with all the shit from the male truckers out there. Some of them are cool but others are assholes that need a ass kickin. Problem 3, if I signed on with a company than I have to play by their rules. Problem 4, no way could I afford to do it on my own.

6. This is for Winter, I to went through a major slut time. 7 guys in 6 months. Not bad right? I was 19 and in the Army at my first duty station. South Korea is a hell of place to send a kid that had never really had any kind of freedom. I had dated 1 or 2 guys before but than I meet the first love. His name was Casey and was one of the mechanics on base. I hadnt dated any other guys on base cause of the never date at your work rule. Casey was the expection.
He was scruffy and manly, I was in love. He cheated on me just a month after I gave him my big V. Of course I was an idiot and took him back. Not once but twice. The third time I basically kicked his ass and decided hey lets get back at him and fuck every guy I can. Not the best plan in the world but I had some great sex. To bad I cant remember any of their names huh?

Ok there, I have posted 6 things you proably didnt know about me. I would tag others to do the same but honestly I only know 2 other folks blogging. So Winter and Shiny ya know the score.

Kids, softball and new cars

I havent posted anything since Monday cause my life has been so busy I havent had the energy to think. We had our "big brother" come through the apartments. My boss was so happy that they couldnt find anything wrong with our files. TO bad the same cant be said about the apartments.
After that stressful situation was taken care of I had softball to worry about. I know all I am is an assitant coach that is only going to be paid to drive the bus. That doesnt mean I dont care about the girls and what happens to them. These girls have really become people that I see and feel connected to.
We all joke around and have fun but they also know that I will get mad at them. We havent really had a much pratice as we want but are as ready as we can be for our first game. Come tuesday we will put on our uniforms for the first time and go play our arch rivals, Flippin Lady Bobcats.
Funny part about that for me, I live in Flippin and my kids go to school there. I am helping to coach the Cotter Lady Warriors. Irony is a word that comes to mind here. I know this is proably wrong but I have had the chance to see the bobcats pratice. Just a little James Bond thing going. Got to get a edge somewhere, that team is good.
My hubbie called from his national guard duty yesterday. "Hey think I found another car for us." With the 3rd kid on the way I need 3rd row seating. My parnets had 3 of us so I know what happens to the smallest or outnumbered one of the sibilings. They get beaten up on all road trips. Just ask my little brother about the long ride to Florida.
Anyway, he thinks he has found exactly what we need. We are both totally against Minivans so get that stupid thought out of your head. A nice Dodge Durango is what he is looking at. I can handle that. I am a country girl and if I had the money would have a nice nice nice Chevy Avalanche out in the driveway.
SO it looks like I may just being driving 2 hours away for me to get a newer car. It sucks that I have to go that far just to get a good deal but hey I am not rich. That is just one of those small town things that you have to put up with. I feel that is a good give for all the other good things I get from raising my family in an area that i feel safe in.
So now that you know my weekend go out and do something. Dont just sit there on your butt. Go!!